Poetry: 2015

Thursday 2 July 2015

Alone

Alone

People come,
People go,
The wheel turns,
You fall with flow.

Drifting by,
Run aground,
Turn to look,

Alone, I'm found.

Familiar

In your scent, I'm home again,

In your eyes, my comfort lies,

When I feel your touch, I need so much,

Within your arms, my panic calms,

Upon your chest, my soul can rest,

Within your thighs, my need resides,

And in our kiss, there lives a warmth,

Words can't explain

Our kiss______,

_____ Just bliss!

Wednesday 1 July 2015

Yourself

Boundaries set by those, at will,

Whom moral stance rights them to kill,

Original values, original sin,

In judgement, they keep theirs' within.

Hypocrisy, destroys our soul,

Yet, convenient morals build that hole,

How can we still pretend to know,

What's right from wrong, what's high from low?

It's guilt that drives our cold cruel hearts,

From love to hate, government to art,

We cannot make those absolutes,

With priorities so far from Truth.

Ourselves is all that swells our minds,

Its selfish pains, interpret finds,

Some try to say they know, they've seen,

But all they know is where they've been.

No time to judge, with coloured vision,

No right to cast moral decision,

Your time's best spent on what you see.

Of what's in you, not what's in me!

Yours

You sit and pray,

For food and wine,

To sow the seeds,

You have no time.

You feel the truth,

And how to be,

And then deny,

That's what you see.

You're full of woe,

And question, why?

For the answers,

You won't even try.

Led by sorrow,

Hide in lies,

For all misdeeds,

There's something dies.

You get what's coming,

Ease or strife,

Depending,

How you treat this life.

What is Written

Anonymity again,

Drifting endlessly, it seems,

Once again you tumble,

Shrinking back into a shell,

Constructed out of anger, pain.

How you've suffered those now,

Familiar enemies, stabbing friends,

We know them, so we do,

As we know our own distaste.

One day, you know,

You won't return from your sleep,

Never to rise, as never again,

To fall blindly,

Innocently trusting those misdeeds,

As weaknesses guard the truth,

From those who might discover,

It's not all that it seems.

Bend that line,

Moreover to breaking point,

Testing boundaries, pushing hate,

Releasing forgotten sorrow,

Directed at any who might listen,

Squeezing anguish out of those,

Malleable enough to feel.

Tortured childhood,

Seeking solace in driving forward,

Denying genuine thought,

With sweeping assumptions,

Against righteous signs,

Disbelieving by choice.

Destiny awaits you,

Sitting quietly, like the hunter,

Calmly observing the prey,

Licking its lips,

Salivating for the kill.

You can't look away forever,

Face it you will,

Sooner rather than later,

Your fate will be heard.

Condemned by simple wrongs,

Turn and see your truth,

Retribution chases you.

Pressure is rising within,

The sickness now lives.

What Is Written, Will Be Done!

Woman

Tempt me with your fruits like that,

A taste, a lick, some more?

Well, if you're rich, you're good, you're grateful,

Or seeing as you're poor, poor, poor,

Of course I know what you can do,

I've seen you crave applause.

You use it well this drug you have,

With its power, you make your laws!

You offer warmth, that's heaven sent,

You bastardise the cause,

You know it's where my comfort lies,

The truth behind closed doors.

The biggest coup of all you do,

Play the weak, the dim, abused,

Abusers, worse, the lot of you,

This (wo) man's game for two.

Those of you yell "Physical",

Who know how to misuse,

The fear of all that's right and true,

Oh, and can be forensically, be proved!

Of course it can't be shown or said,

How words, mere looks, and rules,

One's limits, insecurities, guilt,

Are superior forms of tools.

You can break by bones with fists and kicks,

You make my body sore.

Efficient though at quick repair,

There is soon no mark at all.

But when you use your weapons,

You twist from deep within,

It turns the core, deflates my soul,

My world starts caving in.

But just in case, it's not enough,

You'll take from me my crutch,

No comfort, warmth, can come from you,

You cry "selfish", just too much.

To be sensitive, in touch with love,

Is what you say you need,

But when you find it, why must you,

Destroy, abuse, make bleed.

Who Cares

Who Cares?

We care for all the cries for help,

And care for the infirm,

We care for all the needy,

And we care for the abused.

But who cares for the carers,

When we are weak, in need?

Who cares for all the carers,

Who give until they bleed?

We care for all the children,

At home and far away,

We care for those who want to die,

And help them through their day.

But who cares for us poor carers,

When we are weak, in need?

Who cares for all the carers

Still giving whilst we bleed?

You want to know the answers?

Where d'you look when strength recedes?

Look behind you, all you carers,

It's your time to be fulfilled.

All the ones you've helped can thank you,

All the selfless acts repaid,

From the friends you've made along the path,

Time to let them pay you heed.

When you're low and feeling worthless,

Let us lift you from your well,

Your help, support has built this net,

We'll catch you as you fall.

So, who cares for all the carers?

The cared for, love you all.

Who cares for all the carers?

Look behind you, there's us all.

Well

Well?

You seem to me,to be in doubt,

Of where to find my laws,

That set of rules we all live by,

What I define as flaws.

Well listen please to honest words,

I speak so that you're sure,

It's friendship, makes my basic rules,

You can't corrupt what's pure!

Be real, you'll never bring me down,

In fact you'll only strengthen ground,

Upon which can be built foundation,

Safe haven, precious friendship found.

I hope that soon you'll realise,

That I am truly rare,

Your trust is never better placed,

Your fears, I'll gladly share.

My world is where you'd be yourself,

With nothing to bring fear,

I care that you feel comfortable,

Whenever you are near.

I know in time, you'll see me true,

Then no matter what you say,

My friendship, hugs affection, love,

Are yours and yours to stay.

Using

You can care, you can need,

You can respect, sow your seed,

Then you can judge, expect and use,

Yeah, if your good, hate, hurt abuse,

Or you can help, and sympathise,

You can send a smile and empathise.

Of course if you so wish you could,

Validate some lies, do yourself some good!

In its name you can lead, where e'er you want,

For its cause you can shout, refuse and rant,

Then you can try to understand,

Offer your support and lend a hand.

You can be in ecstasy,

Then share that joy so openly,

Or it can bring your world right down,

And feel its right to share 'that' around.

Yeah, you can feel so safe and warm,

It gives you strength to ride the storm.

Or it can make you want to die,

Despair, resent, break down and cry,

It can bring on waves of pain and guilt,

Shatter your defence, you've so carefully built,

You can ask for wealth, if that's your call,

Forgiveness, slack, you can get it all.

Control the weak and fool the poor,

Defend your faults, open any locked door,

Deceive ignore, lay blame, accuse,

Understand and listen, and forgive, amuse,

In fact, it's simple just to see,

Using love the world is yours for free.

But then if it was real, this love, you see,

You'd never use it selfishly,

You'd want for nothing, you'd be complete,

There would be no need to lie and cheat.

Learn to feel love, and give love too,

Exist in trust, have faith, be true.

Tears

I cried a tear,

For us tonight,

I cried a tear,

Not once, but twice.

The first, a tear,

For you, your plight,

The way you hurt,

Then the way you fight.

And next, another,

Tear, I cried,

As I thought of us,

I was sad..I sighed.

But I didn't cry,

Alone...oh no,

I cried with you,

Somehow, I know.

So as I cried,

Those tears, for pain,

The feeling brought,

Us close again.

Now, when you cry,

I hope you know,

I share your thoughts,

I share your woe.

Just you remember,

That...my love,

And next time you cry,

You'll feel our love.

Straight

You just not sure how to see me, still,

Am I really real or a poisoned pill?

From where I sit it's simple, plain as day,

There is nothing I hide, no games that I play.

It's just too easy, can't be true,

You must look for motives, hidden from view,

You just can't believe it, it can't be right,

I say open your heart, and feel the light.

There is no need for false defence,

Under no attack, it makes no sense,

And there's the rub, for me, not you,

I've yet found none, to believe it too.

I feel it's rare, within this world,

Avoiding lies, covert and cold,

Am I too, to fall from grace,

Playing games, with you, and the human race.

From my heart I cannot hide,

I'll stumble on with open stride,

No doubt, in pain from blows received,

Believing those who must deceive.

I'll cry, I'll bleed, and I'll wave goodbye,

It saddens me, It makes me cry,

I'll walk away, leave you behind,

Then emptiness is all you'll find.

I'll die before I live the lie,

Whilst you persist, and wonder why,

There's no one you can learn to trust,

Your faith, your life; to ashes to dust.

So Long

So long, I've been waiting,

grasping tightly to hope,

that's fading to nothing

with my power to cope.

Whilst the if, was a when,

I'd a target to hold.

When reduced to a maybe

expectation ran cold

Now it's "Probably never",

and my strength's almost done.

My heart needs a blanket,

my souls's on the run.

Today's the first day,

my defence can be seen.

A choice to place distance

before feeding that need.

Do you know what is happening?

Can you sense the retreat?

The thin end of a wedge?

I'll just call it "Defeat".

Smiles

Wasting time on lying smiles,

On skin deep beauty, shallow miles

of success, we shyly seek,

It all turns sour and grows so weak.

What's real inside we cannot find,

No time to look, from time to hide,

Protecting broken hearts, and lives,

Defending behind drowning eyes.

Wanting desperately to come out,

And spread our wings, feel free of doubt,

We stumble, trip, are fooled by sight

of some kind of artificial light.

It's not what we are fighting for,

We'll never win this forelorn war.

Once we can all stop fooling free,

Then maybe we'll just learn to be!

Shyness

Emitting raw feelings

Deep within the soul,

Unaware that the tuned

Perceive their sweet vibrations,

Innocence lost inside,

Hidden by painful waves,

Of denial, disbelief, mistrust.

With the rare, careful user,

Of keys entrusted by the flow,

The crack in the silent blackness,

Can without awareness slip,

Deftly quiet, shutting off the view,

Filling rooms set for receiving,

Sympathies from those few.

I can feel your pain, instantly reeling,

I can sense the doubt, cold, distinguished,

I know the truth, hopeful, lost,

I'm aware of desire, looking fearfully for agendas,

I am torn by innocence, scared stiff, lonely....True?

I perceive insecurity, feeding,

I want to hold you, stop the bleeding.

Oh, how I know, that words in jest,

Point sharply, tearing open some truths,

I feel too ridded, tempered down passion,

Need to love and love is hard for you,

To be loved, cared for, reminded,

Of young tender, unconditional contact, support,

Trust, understanding, honesty through and through.

To receive you transmit, to transmit must believe,

To believe, you have faith, faith alone comes from you,

To see you, you must face only what is true,

But I know, I know how that must hurt so much,

Hot, scoulding life, crushing folding falling,

Safety now, is your own advice, sever the tie,

Just in case in its wake you must die.

Respect

In this life you must suffer!

The God fearing say,

Yes, you're guilty from birth,

From your first need's the way.

You're downtrodden and sad,

Fearing what you're told's bad,

Hide, protect yourself from light of day.

Keep your mind safe from new,

'Case it hurts me or you,

Making snap judgements,

And spin a new lie,

Say you knew what to do,

Make believe it's all-true,

Living falsehoods, 'till its time to die.

It can't work for us all,

We can't keep our eyes closed,

We've been searching,

Down too many roads.

We are witness, to truth,

And suppression of youth,

We grow stifled, by rights you impose.

Take YOUR fears and YOUR pain

Away, don't force me to feel,

It's not our lot,

To live with your dead.

Got our own cross to bear,

And our own truths to share,

And to us, they're as sacred and real!

Pretence

Stifled cries, I CANNOT BREATHE,

Amongst these lies and veiled seethes,

Pretending to be what we're not,

Fooling those, who matter not.

If they matter not, why waste our time,

On masks hiding turmoil and thought crime!

Our guilty soul finds fault and blame,

So honesty is lost again.

From sorrowful existence flows,

The guiding motives, self inflicted blows,

Then sit alone and wonder why,

There's no solutions, left to cry.

Believe in self, believe in you,

Don't let them tell you what's to do.

Only from within can we see proof,

That we must seek and find our Truth.

Positive

If I believed all I'd seen,

I'd feel lonely, so mean,

I'd resent every woman I met,

See me crying each night,

Drenched in panic and spite,

Is this really what I should expect?

I could readily think,

When you tip me a wink,

You're just using my weakness to gain,

You'll then throw me away,

See my pain grow each day,

'Till I'm broken and worthless again.

I've been led to believe,

I'll be cruelly deceived,

Not important enough, for your care,

I'm now doubtful, with fears,

Insecure, shedding tears,

Feeling guilt, that's beyond safe repair.

This is all I can be,

Without friends around me,

Whom I trust will be honest and true,

Then with this I'd accept,

I deserve some respect,

And I'm worthy, right up next to you.

Passion

You denied all the passion,

Then put trust out of fashion,

Took to hating yourself, then me too!

Far away flew compassion,

Following swiftly, more ration,

You withheld all I needed from you!

Your long hair, it got shorter,

Then your insults got broader,

You continued to pile on more pain.

You gave fault too much quarter,

Turned our wine into water,

Transferring to me ALL the blame.

When I loved you, you hated,

If I hurt, you then baited,

You consistently doubted my moves.

All I stood for you slated,

When I hurried, you waited,

You even forgot how to give!

From the nightmare, I've woken,

Now, the dreams are all broken,

There's no ground left, from which to begin.

There's no doubt, but a token,

My soul's reawoken,

You were right all along, I give in.

Love is a game

Love

Love is a game,

Two players,

Rules, only there to be broken,

There is a beginning,

There is a middle,

And, there is an end.

In the beginning, the two players, show off what they think will impress, these attributes are graded and set as the norm. As it is early days you keep any weaknesses hidden for as long as possible, so that you lull the other player (the opponent), into a false sense of security. This period, is known as, "Casting The Web", where the aim, is to capture your opponent in your area.

As the game progresses, it becomes increasingly difficult to keep these faults, and weaknesses at bay; the initial fears and insecurities about the game wear off. We are now in the middle of the game! Known as the "Settling Period", the name does not really describe how the game continues. What you must do is assert yourself, no matter how it affects your opponent. You must begin to draw lines that your opponent cannot cross and will lose many points if you do. Deliberate "fouls" cost double and could get you sent off the field of play for a while or permanently should your opponent not want to play anymore. The players will fight, tease, push, manipulate and pull at each other all over the playing area, trying to score points, and win battles. This is the most lengthy part of the game, as it is in this period were advantages are won and lost. The main objective of this stage is to move your lines forward all the time to gain possessional space.

Eventually the fighting will begin to slow down as the players tire. We now move into "The Kill", or the end game. This can have a number of outcomes, depending on the strengths, skills and wills of the players. Most of the time, one player wins a "Total Victory", and the opponent will concede, and back down. Or if the going gets too tough for the opponent, the winning player will achieve a "Hollow Victory", where the opponent concedes and then leaves the playing area, not completely subdued and captured but admitting defeat. Another possibility is a "No Win" and the game is scored as a draw, neither player gaining any significant advantage on the other, both concede and leave the playing area.

Of course there is one other outcome; sometimes players will compromise amicably, accepting the others weaknesses, and indeed, helping them by drawing on their own strengths, and vice versa, and in the end, both players actually win, but this style is not very popular, and does not make for good spectator sport!

Love

Love is blind, love is deaf, love is dumb.

Love is all, love is one, love is none.

Look too hard, it's not there, can't be true.

Look away, you're aware, it's in you.

Try again, sight in doubt, it's not real.

See with faith and you let your heart feel.

With our minds and our eyes we deny,

To keep safe from our yearnings to cry,

Stop the doubt and the questioning, why?

Let your feelings, your heart, make you fly,

Free your mind to take care of your life,

Use your heart to see what's wrong from right,

Then your love will have freedom to grow,

And will teach you all you e'er need to know.

Learning

Sensing sweet essence of my old friend, Failure,

Setting once more for a fall,

Finding the utmost impossible tasks,

Then sprinting blind, into The Wall,

Finding the soul, that will help you be you,

Is the simplest mistake we all make,

Just when you're sure you've found heaven itself,

The images all come out fake.

We all have a value, we set, Oh so young,

Our parents, donate us our worth,

How well they protect us gives no hint at all,

Insecurities are transferred at birth.

So all of you now learning parenting skills,

To help you to keep kids from self-harm,

Throw your books in the bin, don't you worry about sin,

Love yourselves, THEN your children can learn

Innocent

Do you know the effect you have?

How you send rushes through?

But heading two ways,

My mind's a daze,

I don't know what to do.

Oh, sweet, young thing, a babe in arms,

Naive, too young, too new,

You make me feel,

To care, protect,

And shelter life from you.

But then, again, I look at you,

My blood pumps hard about,

I want your body,

Make love with you,

Of that there is no doubt.

You stimulate my need to give,

I long to pleasure you,

To make you come,

With my desire,

Oh how I'd do for you.

Time passes though, night turns to day,

I watch you sleep alone,

Temptation turns,

And care returns,

These extremes I've never known.

Suffice to say, It seems unfair

I fancy you so much,

I can't be sure,

If I've the strength,

To look, but ne'er to touch.

I'm Falling

I’m Falling

It's the sparkle that draws

Attention slighted once and again

Briefly she takes my mind,

Spills my heart

Oh yes? What is this?

Am I safe, to resist?

Do I see where I lay

In years from today?

Can I let myself tumble

The inevitable crumble?

I know how to fit

So the ceiling would lift

Where I want to go

Be of use, again grow.

How surreal is the O?

Are my eyes wide and free

Will my senses be honest to me?

It's no more, I think choice

Feels beautiful from above

Its easy to see

I'm just falling in love!

Hello

Feelings that I hold for you,

Are never going to change.

Doubt may rise,

Righteousness precedes,

Denial casts its shade.

My heart, if left alone, today,

Sees all we ever were,

The power is there,

To be 'One' again,

I feel you sense that stir.

But what of what is right, I hear,

How do we see what's true,

Can we really risk exposure,

To deadly, pain and fear,

I don't know what to do.

I 'GROK' a wrongness, he would say,

In what we're trying to be,

We are both worth,

So much more than this,

It's plain as day to see.

So once again, upon my sleeve,

I'll bravely were my heart,

And place my trust,

In all I feel,

That you and I just art!

Four Letter Word

There's a four letter word,

That haunts you and I,

It cannot be defined,

No matter what we try.

It won't stand up to question,

It cannot be solved or proved,

It is beyond our comprehension,

And it just will not be moved.

Its face, it never changes,

It will not be ignored,

When you think that you've denied it,

It returns with strength restored.

All I know of its nature,

Is that, when I give in,

Let it right through my defences,

I stop rotting from within.

You must know what I am saying,

To my hand you're the glove.

Its all that 'ere has meaning, babe,

It's all I know as love!

Feline

To me, you're all an enigma,

I stopped trying to decipher,

Find I'm left in confusion,

There's too many conclusions.

Are you living with reasons?

Your agenda's form lesions,

Games, for answers you play,

Yet question in fun, you say?

Is it I? Can't you see?

Your worlds upside down seen by me,

What's important is lost,

Then mere detail gets crossed.

Do you see me as weak?

As its truth only I seek,

Or does it make you feel bad,

Or resentful and sad?

Will I have to give in,

If your trust, I'm to win?

Shall I just keep on trying,

And let faith hide from dying.

My strength reserves running low,

Need to see that you need me too.

Feed my doubts, some assurance,

Redress part of the balance.

Feelings

I've got names for them now,

These feelings, new.

Alien thoughts, unusual responses,

What is this new way?

Awoken from their sleep,

They come enriched with energy,

Expressing themselves through me,

Opening my soul.

(Feelings I knew not before,

Have filled my heart, my mind and more),

Ten years on, they thundered by,

The same old me? Wizened though.

New doubts, new fears, new certainties.

The old green monster, finally risen,

I met him before, but allowed him no attention.

He is screaming this time, he will be heard now.

Now, of course, I understand,

Only now do I see,

Do I feel,

How you felt!

Fear

Fear and loathing, hate, mistrust,

Is it any wonder your self-worth's lost,

All you've had to learn from life,

Is survival pitted against constant strife?

Believing none, least of all your own,

You seek opinion, to confirm what's known?

If confirmed, at last you feel it's right,

That you deserve, and suffer spite.

Though when denied, with friendly smiles

So deep you hear, it's all just lies,

So either way, you're never wrong,

Validated, right, your doubt so strong.

Defence is all you think you need,

As another day makes cuts, you bleed,

But if you could, just pause for thought,

What if, my child, what if you're caught,

In webs of pain, laid in your way,

If that is true, please let me say:

I speak only truth, I am sincere,

I pray you have the belief to hear,

You're fit, you're fine, you're welcome, see?

You're smile belongs, where e'er you be,

You deserve to live, how e'er you feel,

And hold no guilt, for being real.

Be proud that you have coped, till now,

Take strength, lose fear, and take that bow,

Trust me, you are worth so much more,

Than all you feel you've earnt before,

Special, unique, you're strong and bright,

I admire your will to stand and fight.

I hope you can believe it's true,

I hope this lends a smile to you,

Though, if you can't believe it still,

Then keep these words for when you will,

And then you can look back and say,

With pride:” See who I am today!"